Part II : A Woman on a Mission
I didn’t have time or the emotional energy to mourn the first failed IUI. I was a woman on a mission. Let’s raise the dose of medication for round 2.
We did the routine blood work, and I got the go ahead to start injecting a dose of Gonal-F 150-iu for a week (that’s double what I was injecting during the first round). On day 10 of the cycle we did more blood work & ultrasound to find out that I had 3 follicles- 23, 21 & 18 this was great news since the first two are super mature. They did not induce my ovulation this time since I was ready to be IUI’d the next day before we missed the boat. Same thing as last time, easy-peasy and I was back at work within half an hour of the procedure. I refused to take a day to “rest” because I knew my mind would just be racing. Plus, no one could work that day, so I didn’t really have a choice. Haha!
Symptoms with IUI #2 were literally NON-Existent. I can’t even pin point a single moment where I felt anything. No emotions, no pain, no cramps, no headaches, nothing. If anything I was just numb all around in the best possible way.
The first 10 days flew by this time, I didn’t google a single thing. I left every support group chat and forum that I had subscribed to prior to the IUI. That was the best decision I ever made. There are so many negative comments and experiences that you should not be reading about when you’re TTC. I did not want anything on my mind but work and fun.
On 9dpo (days past ovulation) I went to the J-LO concert with my bestie, and we literally had the best day! I was feeling light, and genuinely so happy. The following day I couldn’t move from how tired I was which I attributed to the concert. Around 3:30pm while watched Ellen, I decided to take a cheap HPT and managed to convince my self that I wouldn’t be upset if it’s negative. (yea right).
Have you ever ugly cried so hard that you got a glimpse of your self in the mirror and it was so horrendous, then you FaceTimed your sister during the crying so that she could see too?!
Yea, me neither.
Okay but actually that’s what happened to me when I got a positive home pregnancy test (HPT). I ugly cried from joy! Who even does that? I thought crying when you’re happy was just in the movies for dramatic effect. I’ve never in my life cried from joy, but there I was bawling my face off and dipping stick after stick into my pee cup while mumbling “is this f**k**g for real? Omg OMGGGG” ... over and over again.
I’m literally crying while writing this, because I wish I could bottle that joy up and give it to someone else who needs it.
I started with 2 cheap HPT that came back positive, then I moved to the big leagues with the 3 digital ones. After seeing so many negative tests for 2 years, you don’t even realize what a magical feeling it is to see a positive.
Then I started plotting how I’ll surprise my husband with the news. We said that we wouldn’t do any HP tests and we’d wait until the BETA test which was supposed to be 6 days from the day that I tested. Since he knew that I was in Toronto the day before, I decided to plant the positive tests in an old Hermes tie box and told him that I bought him a new tie. He hates ties so he wasn’t very excited to open his gift. He opened the box slowly and unrolled the tissue paper to find the positive tests. The smile on his face was perfect. (I recorded a video of it, which I also accidently deleted. Now the memory will just stay in my mind).
The next day I went to the clinic to confirm the pregnancy with blood work, and continued to do blood work every other day for the next week to ensure that HCG levels were rising.
I am now 11 weeks pregnant and expecting our little bean March 2020.
A lot of people ask how I’m feeling. I’m shocked to say that I feel SO good all the time! Literally zero symptoms that sometimes I’m scared if there is something in there because pregnancy shouldn’t feel so easy. Right?
Thank you for listening to my story and for sharing your stories with me as well. My biggest suggestion if you are struggling with infertility is to please take care of your mind, body and soul before anything else. Start with 1 of those three if you’re not ready to do it all at once. Remember to take deep intentional breaths and to exhale. Allow your self to cry. This was a big one for me. But don’t cry too much either, because there are options out there. I know that we were lucky to get a positive on the 2nd round of IUI and I don’t take that for granted at all, but I also would have kept pushing until the ends of the earth until I got a positive.
You’ll physically feel the shift in the universe when the time is right.
You’ll know when it worked. Good luck mamas.